Preschool and Panic Attacks
Filed Under: My Daughter, Parenting
This has been a week of change for my family. And with my kids, that means a week of hell.
As you know, we are homeschoolers. But over the summer we made the decision to enroll my 4 yo daughter in preschool for the year. She’s a very social girl - she likes to make friends and be out doing fun stuff. I decided that if she went to preschool three mornings a week, I would get some time to do one-on-one school work with my son and she would have a great time. And she’s never really had much separation anxiety. Until now, of course.
This week my daughter has turned into a whining, clinging, crying-and-deathgripping-my-neck child. I’ve been completely blindsided by her behavior. She took dance, gymnastics, and swimming classes all last year. She went to “camp” this summer where she was away from me every morning for a week. She might have been a little nervous as first, but she never reacted the way she did this week.
She cried through her first three days of preschool, she had to be pulled off of me by the gymnastics teacher, she curled up in a ball on the floor and cried during ballet class, and she cried in swim class until I came and sat by the pool. At home, she wants to be within touching range of me at all times.
So me? I had my first panic attack. For a little background here, I had been taking Lexapro (an antidepressant) for about a year. It worked fantastically for me and in July I decided to start weaning off it. I was feeling great, losing weight, and ready to see how I’d do without medication. I instantly noticed that I was a little bitchier, sadder, and more anti-social. But I wanted to try to work through it. Then this whole “new fall schedule” came about and threw me for a loop.
For a family that is used to getting out of bed and laying around on the couch, watching TV and picking at granola bars and bowls of dry cereal, getting me and the kids up, fed, dressed and out of the house by 8:35 is a challenge. Mornings have been stressful, and dropping C off at preschool has been even more stressful. And then my whole body went numb.
My arms, legs, head, lips - even my tongue - were tingly. I kept hearing a buzzing in my ears and I felt like my chest and stomach were in a big knot. When I didn’t feel better the next morning, I paid a visit to my doctor and confirmed what I had Google-diagnosed: anxiety attack. My doctor and I talked about the stress, he wrote me a new prescription for Lexapro, and he told me, “Don’t deprive her of the opportunity to work through this on her own.”
My doctor has an amazing bedside manner and he has always been able to say things that really make me think. I agree with what he says, but putting it into action is another story. This morning, after another round of crying and clutching, I developed a painful cramp in my back that goes from my shoulder blade down to my hip. I’m a mess.
I’m trying to keep a stiff upper lip and show my daughter that there is so much fun to be had in the world and that Mom doesn’t always have to be there. At home, I’m trying to give her lots of attention and love and cuddling. I have to stick with this - the classes, the preschool, the schedule - but I buckle under the stress so easily. I feel so weak and I need to be so strong.
I know it will get better. The routine will become more routine. There will be more smiles and less tears. For now, I sit here with the heating pad on my back, my little girl pressed up against me. And I wait. Because this too shall pass.
PHAT = Parenting, Homeschooling And Technology. That about sums up my life at the moment. 
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Melissa | Sep 20, 2008 | Reply
I dearly feel for you on the panic attack situation. I have them too and to put it simply…they ain’t no fun!
Hang in there!
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Laurel | Sep 20, 2008 | Reply
There are things you can do to help besides just letting the child work through it on her own. I think there is a book called The Kissing Hand that a lot of people read to their kids. You could laminate a family picture and make a necklace out of it. (Or better yet, laminate two, and you could wear one too while she is at preschool.) You could even just put an identical piece of yarn on each of your wrists that you could touch when you are thinking of each other.
Laurel
Carmi | Sep 21, 2008 | Reply
Transitions are so hard, especially when we haven’t had the benefit of past experience. You’re handling it better than anyone could have asked, and you’re absolutely right: time will resolve this, too.
Thinking of you and wishing you peace.
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that girl | Sep 21, 2008 | Reply
I have had Lexapro and Paxil, coming off of Paxil makes you want to kill people. This too shall pass.
I started having panic attacks this week after a 1 year hiatus. No idea why. I am starting to wonder if it’s associated with Fall somehow. Bad childhood memory or something? I hate it.
Hugs
Sonyia | Sep 21, 2008 | Reply
Any chance your dd is 3? Your dd sounds just like mine. She had done gymnastics and swim all without me starting at 18 months. Then just after she turned 3, she FREAKED at at everything I tried to take her to like swim and gymnastics. After 2 weeks of the crying, I just let her quit it all. Now this year, just after turning 4, she asked me if she could do gymnastics again. I was hesitant about trying it out and wasting the money but I did it anyways. Now 3 weeks into it, she is LOVING it again. It just had to be on her timing and not mine. I admit it that I’m not one for the crying it out. I know that for us, it shouldn’t have to be painful like that at such a young age.
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Mommy Meryl | Sep 22, 2008 | Reply
Ouch - that has to be a tough week for you. And even though we all will tell you that it will pass, I’m sure that doesn’t overly help right now. ..sometimes it is just so hard being a parent!!
The Kissing Hand is just fabulous! My daughter is in 1st grade and she was introduced to it her first year in preschool when she was just 3 and it is still one of her faves!!
I hope she turns a corner and that you are able to feel better. I don’t have personal experience w/ the anxiet/panic attacks - but I would just say do whatever you need to do to feel the strongest and best to be able to go thru this transition. . .
Braden | Sep 23, 2008 | Reply
Panic attacks are no fun at all. I too, suffer from them all too often. My Doctor had me on Zoloft and it only worsened my condition. This past Friday he took me off of it, and told me to take Adavan as needed. I get panic attacks so bad, I sometimes have to lay on the floor because I can’t breathe. I’ve gone to the hospital four times in 3 years, been through extensive tests, and they all agree: I suffer from panic attacks.
It totally sucks, and I am now to the point where I have decided that I am going to see a counselor.
Firefly | Sep 28, 2008 | Reply
I have had panic attacks since I was a very small child. I am wondering if your daughter shares in this particular part of your genetic makeup.
My panic attacks got worse when I started kindergarten and they never did resolve themselves.
If your daughter is having panic attacks, too, she might not be capable of working through them on her own at this age. She may need to have this time in her life with you to reinforce her sense of security in this world.
Don’t feel weak because you are feeling your mothering instinct kicking in. It’s there for a reason.
What I am saying might not be popular with some people, and I don’t wish to offend anyone. I just know what I have experienced in my life and how I have counter-acted the same thing from occurring in my youngest daughter’s life. At three, she was so afraid and could not be pried from my arms. At thirteen, she is one of the most outgoing kids I know. Listen to your heart.
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