I Must Stop Insanely Over-Reacting

// 1.23.08 // Filed under: Parenting, Thriving

Holy hell, I think I have the absolute lowest tolerance when things go wrong.

At the top of my to-do list for the past two months has been this item: Get license renewed. I put it off until I realized that I’ll be boarding a plane soon to go to Disney World and an expired license might cause some sort of problem at the airport (I don’t know this for sure, but I don’t want to take the risk). So today was the day I would take care of the renewal.

In NJ, there is a ridiculous “point system” in which you need to bring certain documents from certain categories and the documents must all add up to 6 points. My birth certificate and social security card are not enough because my name is changed, so I also need my marriage certificate and proof of address, like a recent utility bill. OK, fine. I know where these items are — in our fire-proof safe.

I’ve opened this safe tons of times. But this morning - when I was running late getting the kids to classes, naturally - the damn thing won’t open. I checked the combination twice. I re-read the directions. And I got REALLY MAD. As in slamming doors and stomping down stairs and yelling bad words mad. I had a temper tantrum.

I left the house to bring the kids to art and dance classes and my husband, fearing for my sanity, calmly looked over the instruction booklet for the safe and realized some button was pushed in that disables the combination and requires the key. He called me on my cell, we found the key, opened the safe, and all was fine.

Except that all was not fine. My daughter was crying because I was so mad. My son told me I shouldn’t say “those bad words.” And, you know, I generally felt like the world’s worst parental example. Most parents have these moments and I realize I’m not a horrible role model just because I have a tantrum now and then. But I really wonder WHY? Why did I react so insanely? I was rushed, I was worried, I didn’t want to deal with a hassle right before vacation, my plan for the day was thrown off… But you’d have thought the Terminator was coming for me, the way I was carrying on. (Just saw that movie, so it’s fresh in my mind!)

Like I said, L-O-W tolerance. And H-I-G-H stress levels. I’m really looking forward to this Disney trip, but I don’t think it will be the least bit relaxing. I’ve really got to work on that tolerance thing.

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11 Responses to “I Must Stop Insanely Over-Reacting”

  1. carli says:

    Yeah, the NJ system kinda sucks. I need to get my license renewed, it’s been expired forever. Hopefully they won’t notice my name is spelled wrong on my passport. (Hey, it got me in and out of England and Scotland, and it worked the last time I needed a license!)
    Have fun in Disney World.

    carli’s last blog post..Cough City

  2. Joanne says:

    Take a deep breathe…and have fun at Disney! :-)
    Joanne’s last blog post..Rewarding (Bribing) Children To Learn

  3. Sarah says:

    You know, there are probably times when you see your kids lose it, when they’re just overwhelmed by the frustration of something, and let all those scary feelings out. I’m guessing you give them a break, right? Give yourself the same gift.

    Sometimes it’s worth acting out those things again with children. Talk about losing your temper, and how that can be scary. Play-act it really over the top, if it helps all of you to face the feelings. Remember that they sometimes have the same feellings you did, and those happen because of your shared real, basic, human needs to have some control over your life, feel competent, understand the world around you (expect things to work the way you know they’re supposed to, for instance!), etc.

    Kids really can get it. Just telling the story over again often helps them sort it out, and it might help you, too.

  4. Summer says:

    Breath in, breath out.

    Some mornings I think it should be illegal to get out of bed. They’re just doomed to be bad.

    Summer’s last blog post..A Green Valentine’s Day With Organic Style

  5. Heather says:

    I remember several years ago, right before leaving for a cruise, I was running around town trying to cram every errand possible into one day. That brought about a lot of stress. So, I’m leaving Wal Mart and backing out of my spot, and bam! I back into another vehicle who was pulling out in the parking spot behind me. I blew! I got out and yelled Son of a (Bleep) really loud. Now, I wasn’t mad at the person, I was just stressed and mad at myself. The person I bummed into and who overheard my outburst? The Superindendent of the school my kids were attending, the same children who were with in the vehicle and witnessed the whole thing (we weren’t homeschooling yet). Yes, I felt about 3 inches tall. To top it off I knew this person well. I was a writer for the local paper who covered the school board meetings, and interviewed him regularly, so he not only knew me as a parent, but also as a “professional”. Very embarrassing! I of course apologized for my outburst and tried to explain I was stressed because of my upcoming “relaxing trip.” He laughed and said that was fine, apologized for running into me as well and since neither of us had damage to our vehicles, we moved on. Me, a little less dignified however. ;)
    Heather’s last blog post..Just Some Words Wednesday

  6. Healing Mom says:

    Been there…

    I called these my “Psycho-Mom” moments. But, as I got older and my son matured, they subsided. In the mean time, I realized that these moments were happening when I didn’t leave myself enough time to do what I needed to do, and I wasn’t organizing myself the way I should have been. I’d get flustered, rushing around and not able to focus, on top of being pissed off at myself for letting it come to that point. Then…enter Mommy guilt, self loathing, and the whole vicious cycle. I soon learned procrastinating was not a luxury I could afford. The price was far too high.
    You are fortunate, and you and your family have a wonderful life. Enjoy. Don’t fret, and know that you are indeed blessed.

    Healing Mom’s last blog post..I’ve Learned…

  7. Amy says:

    I bet you’ll have an amazing time at Disney! Oh and you’re not alone in the temper tantrums thing, I have had more than my fair share.

    Amy’s last blog post..Pokemon Pikachu Attack Action Bases

  8. cindy says:

    Fear not, my thought has always been to blow “mother of the year” in january, that way I can relax and be the great mom I know that I can be

  9. Mrs. Flinger says:

    oh, yes! I’m exactly the same. I told my friends today that I really REALLY need to “kill her with kindness” because my three year old makes me break out in tantrums almost hourly.

    Take me to Dinsey with you! :-)
    Mrs. Flinger’s last blog post..Blog Hopping

  10. Jules says:

    I think we’ve all been there at one time or another. Just keep thinking vacation thoughts :)
    Jules’s last blog post..I’ve Been Tagged

  11. I stress out pretty easily, I think it is part of my type-A personality. Stay positive and it will go well.

    Good luck!

    Shannanb aka Mommy Bits’s last blog post..Delicious Rewards~

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