Your Child & the Unknown: Is It Always This Hard?
This afternoon my son went to a friend’s house to play.
Nothing unusual, right? He’s been to playdates before. He’s been without me before. But this time was a little different. It was the first time he’d gone to play with someone whose family I did not know really, really well.
I knew them of course. I’ve known the kids and the mom as an acquaintance for quite a while. But we aren’t close. I’ve never been inside their home. I’ve barely met their father. For all I know he could be an alcoholic pedophile. Except that I’m pretty sure he’s not.
I had some anxiety issues. I got over it fairly quickly, but I got to wondering: As your child gets older and becomes more independent, is it always hard? Do you always worry?
PHAT = Parenting, Homeschooling And Technology. That about sums up my life at the moment. 
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Tabz | Oct 17, 2007 | Reply
I’m 25… my mom still worries. So yeah, I don’t think it ever goes away.
Darlene Hull | Oct 17, 2007 | Reply
I’ve never been a very maternal mom - not overly cuddly, like my space and privacy (LOL) but I always worry about my kids. I usually let them go anyway, but I get terrified that I’m not there to defend them, protect them, guide them. Get between me and them and you get eaten. I’m stunned at the strength of emotion I feel towards them, and - much to their amusement - bawl my eyes out over any movie where kids are hurt, or reltionships are broken with parents or there’s reconciliation. They wait for it with glee.
My kids are 13 and 14 - nope, I don’t think you ever stop. Sigh. No wonder we go grey!
Darlene
Gem | Oct 17, 2007 | Reply
I don’t worry too awfully much if I know the parents at all, maybe I should worry more! A friend of mine yesterday texted me that she had a little girl (8yo) dropped off at her house — and she had NEVER met the mom!!! She didn’t even come to the door with her and say “Hello, I’m so-and-so’s mom”, just dropped her off in the driveway. My friend was so shocked!
MamaLee | Oct 17, 2007 | Reply
Always.
JayMonster | Oct 17, 2007 | Reply
Yes, and Yes.
Each first for them is a first for you as well, and most likely you will feel the same for each and every one of them. (At least I do).
Phil | Oct 17, 2007 | Reply
Yes, I worry too much. My oldest is nine, but I’m still trying to figure out the right balance of worrying and having confidence that my kids will be safe. I’ll never stop worrying about them.
Margaret | Oct 18, 2007 | Reply
We just moved into a new neighborhood - actually, the first typical suburban American neighborhood my kids have ever lived in. We have never, ever had spontaneous play opportunities - always arranged playdates and thus with people I knew well.
While watering the yard yesterday we met a boy same age as mine. Today he rode up on his bike and said “wanna come ride?” My boy was gone so fast I hardly had time to give him any lectures. They just rode around our quiet little neighborhood for the 1/2 hour till dinnertime. It was very, very weird for me.
Misti | Oct 18, 2007 | Reply
Always? Well, ummm, no I don’t think so. I expect I’ll stop fretting about my 27 and 25 year olds (and my grandkids) any minute now.
You do get more used to it, though, and it becomes a quite hum under the rest of life.
Jess | Oct 19, 2007 | Reply
It never ends. Thing 1 is 12 and I still worry about him like he was 2. I am 35 and my mother still worries about me like I was 2. We had tornado warnings here last night. She called to make sure we were ok and that we heard the sirens. Never.ending.cycle.
CourtneyRyan369 | Oct 19, 2007 | Reply
I’m closer to 30 than I am to 25 and my mother still worries…not as much as she did before, but still.
My dad is approaching retirement and his mother (my grandmother) sitll calls me to say she’s worried about him.
So no, it never ends. Good Luck!
motherofbun | Oct 19, 2007 | Reply
Why can’t they just stay little forever, huh?
Robin Sampson | Oct 20, 2007 | Reply
You have reason to worry. This morning I read about a Coach from Christian school molesting a little girl. He has a Christian web site that sounds terrific. Beware! Listen to your instincts.
mommijun | Oct 20, 2007 | Reply
Oh it doesn’t get any easier. This year my daughter started driving herself and her brother to school. On the first day of school my co-worker was emotionally recounting how she’d taken her son to his 1st day of school. And I thought about how I’d NOT taken my kids to school for the first time. At least she knew where her son was… I hope and pray every day that my teens make it to where they’re going, go where they’re supposed to be going, and make good choices along the way.
Liz | Oct 23, 2007 | Reply
I don’t think we ever stop worrying, once we become parents.
Each year brings something new to obsess about.
The best we can do is be supportive in their decisions (yeah, even the slightly bad ones) knowing that making mistakes is a part of the experience.
Making the same mistake, twice…not so much…and hopefully we can be there for them when things get wonkie.