How Did I Get HERE? Part III
// 5.17.07 // Filed under: Parenting, Thriving
In her post, Stop Trying to Find the Homeschooling Mom a Career, Mother Crone wrote, “I HAVE a career. I am a homeschooling mother, and I LOVE that career.”
Her post was timely for me because I had been thinking the exact… opposite. As I read her words, filled with passion and dedication that extends even beyond the homeschooling of her own children, I knew in my heart that homeschooling was not my career.
I had tried. I wanted homeschooling to be my career. Last year I started a second blog, Homeschool Hacks, when my personal blog was clearly not morphing into the “awesome homeschool resource” I had envisioned. But still, there was no passion.
I became anxious, depressed, moody, and bite-the-head-off-anyone-who-spoke-to-me bitchy. I berated myself for being a selfish little brat. I had a great life, with two wonderful children and a supportive husband. But I could do little more than crawl out of bed and yell or cry a lot of the day.
And this is where I ask, “How did I get HERE?” From successful supermom to lost and lethargic in ten years flat. I love being a mother and being so close to my kids as they learn and grow. I’m committed to homeschooling them, but it is most certainly not my career. I used to think that parenting + homeschooling = thriving. Now I see that, for me, parenting, homeschooling and thriving are three very separate endeavors.
How Did I Get HERE? Part I
A Teacher’s View of Homeschooling
The 30-Day Life/Blog Happiness Project
9 Responses to “How Did I Get HERE? Part III”
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I feel like this a lot. I don’t really feel trapped in the roles of teacher and mother, since I chose them, but I do often wonder if that’s ALL I get to be. Mother. Wife. Teacher…. that’s it?? I am more than the sum of my parts. I am constantly on the lookout for something I can do for just myself. Just wanted to chime in and say that I agree with you. I wouldn’t give up parenting, marriage or homeschooling for anything, but I don’t think it’s selfish to want something else too.
Wow! What a revelation! Homeschooling is not for everyone, just like being a stay-at-home mom is not for everyone. The hardest part are the years when they are young and you feel like your life becomes a constant surrender to their schedules, moods, and needs. I went through periods when I was certain it would be much more fulfilling for me when I could put out effort and get great returns because the only variable was my work ethic. I am glad now that I stuck with it, as I have grown so much in the process. I am interested to hear the rest of your plans and revelations.
In the beginning, I thought homeschooling was for my family but my son will actually be starting kindergarten in August. I’m kind of sad but I also think it’s best for us right now as I really want this year to be the year that I really grow my business!
you have to do what is best for you and your family. And, I agree..they are 3 very different things!
Part of the problem is that we’ve been seduced into believing the nonsense that we can “have it all” be wife, mother, successful businessmom etc. all at the same time… I have lived in the corporate world, raised three beautiful children, homeschooled them and had my own business.. but not all at the same time.. it’s been great .. all of it.. but I couldn’t go back to the corporate gig nor do I want to have babies again.. been there done that..now as my kids are older I am on a new mission to look for what I want to do now.. (I mean “next”) Opportunity is just around the corner and I’ll be ready.
Amen to that Judy.
I am NOT a homeschooler, because I know my limits. I have a short attention span, and because it’s not something I would care to do, I’d SUCK at it. Kudos to those who can though.
I love your blog! You always make me think!
Thanks you for your honesty in sharing your stories. I find myself where you are and have been a lot. It is amazingly good to know that these thoughts have bounced around in at least one other person’s head too.
I have been searching for homeschooling blogs–never thought I would find one like this! I am really enjoying your writing and thoughts.
I am not homeschooling, just thinking about it with/for my youngest son. I used to teach high school and would love the opportunity to HS and I have such an exceptionally bright child.
Thanks for putting yourself out there for all of us readers!
Oy…somehow, someone always hits directly on things I’m pondering. I think it centers on something our culture doesn’t accept. Depending on which half of our culture you listen to, women find fulfillment and happiness in a) pursuing career or b) pursuing family. That may work for some, but I don’t think it is quite how we were created. They are two halves of the same person, and I don’t know that they can be so easily split.
Still pondering, but I’d love your thoughts as I try to prepare a post that doesn’t turn into a book!