In Defense of the Alpha Mom and Other Labels

I get such a kick out of this mommy wars stuff. The war used to be between working and stay-at-home moms, but now it’s apparently between Alpha and Beta moms. And don’t forget the Omega moms.

Mothers get all sorts of crazy about these “labels.” But, you know, I kinda like them.

Here’s the thing: People identify with people whom they have something in common with. I don’t have much in common with the Moms at my son’s baseball games who are dressed in pinstripe pants and stylish heels, probably coming from work with no toddlers underfoot. They sit together and talk and laugh. I, in my t-shirt and jeans, sit on the ground and try to keep my 2 year old daughter from covering herself in dirt. I chat intermittently with the other mom chasing her toddler around. We have a sort of bond.

I’m not in favor of the warring. There’s no reason to hate on someone because they’ve made a different choice than you (unless that choice somehow infringes on your personal freedom). But I’m not offended by the labels. People label themselves all the time in regards to religion, politics, and more. Why should parenting be any different? It’s OK for moms to refer to themselves as “holistic” moms or “attachment” parents, but the notion of an Alpha mom is offensive? I see it as a way for people to connect, and for the media and marketers to target their audience.

Mommy with an Attitude writes that she is a mix of the Alpha and Beta mom and asks “are the alphas and the betas all going to have to hate me?!” Nah. Let’s face it, not many mothers are “pure” Alpha or Beta or Omega moms. We’re all a bit of a mix, no? But when you do find yourself leaning more into one mommy camp, why not stand up and proclaim your parenting philosophy so you can connect with other mommies who understand you?