Setting a Bad Example 101
The other day my son told me to go upstairs and relax a little bit and he would finish feeding his sister and clean her up. This was after she smeared her lunch through her hair, then dumped the remainder on the floor. I looked at my boy, my eyes stinging with tears, simultaneously amazed at his compassion and at how bad I might have already screwed him up.
I’ve decided to share my expertise in the areas of over-reacting and mis-handling stress with the rest of you. Here are a few topics from my upcoming book, Setting a Bad Example:
- Teach your child how to throw a fit. Teach this skill early and often.
- Remember to whine regularly. It really helps you get what you want in life.
- Blow everything out of proportion. The smaller the problem, the bigger the meltdown.
Sigh.
It’s been three years since I’ve had an episode of depression. I thought I was done with it. Free and clear. Cured.
Apparently not.
I recognize you, Mr. Depression - the phantom that wants to handcuff me and leave me curled up in a ball in bed, a sniveling mess. The one that paralyzes me with indecision. The one that provides the spark to make me explode at the first sign of stress. The one that sucks the joy out of my life. I recognize you and you will not get me this time.
I’m determined to take control, to stop setting a bad example. Today I made a detailed plan for our family. I set out a routine that includes all of us eating well, exercising, and getting enough sleep. It includes meal planning and a basic schedule of the week’s activities. It includes time for projects that never seem to get done, constantly lingering in my brain and causing me stress. It includes family time and personal time. And I’m interviewing mother’s helpers this week. You can’t believe it. I know. The plan does not include me being depressed, indecisive, lazily permissive, or sustaining myself with cookies and french fries. The plan may or may not include several glasses of wine.
I will win this round. Shannon - 1, Depression - 0.
PHAT = Parenting, Homeschooling And Technology. That about sums up my life at the moment. 
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Jess | Jun 26, 2006 | Reply
Yeah, man. Depression blows. I can so relate to this, girl. Remember to try to give yourself a pat on the back for all you are and all that you’ve accomplished…at least once a day. And, the way I see it, cookies and french fries are a well deserved indulgence every now and then (one in which I partake far too much). Do you remember the pizza and the chocolate cream pies?
You are a busy mom with 2 small children at home which is the equivalent of 2 full-time jobs, maybe 3 with homeschooling. Be gentle with yourself. It DOESN’T HAVE to all get done today, and it’s okay if you bring something store bought once in a while, instead of making it from scratch.
I wish I could take you out to lunch, or better yet, an afternoon at the spa! Here’s a hug from NC!
Shannon | Jun 26, 2006 | Reply
Thanks for the hug, Jess. I think my lack of “girlfriends” doesn’t help much either. Oh, gosh, I had forgotten about those chocolate cream pies. Dude…
sandy | Jun 26, 2006 | Reply
Shannon, I’ll be cheering you on from the sidelines here!
I’ve not battled depression per se, but I know the whole ‘bad example’ thing. I have a rotten temper and while I thought I had gotten it under control, the stress of parenting two independent/stubborn thinkers under the age of 5, a job I often despise, the house to manage, bills to pay and so on - sometimes the temper gets away from me. I often sit back and beat myself up for the loud retorts and the dramatics that can appear when the kid pushes my buttons too hard. I wonder how much I’ve ruined them for life.
And then I see them and I know that I’m doing ok.
Remember even in our weakest moments, we’re teaching a valuable lesson. We’re human. Sometimes we screw up…but we can make amends. We can work together to fix it. We can teach our children that when we fall, we can help one another get up.
Good luck. Remember, perfect parents don’t really exist. Even fairy tale parents had flaws. All you can do is be your best and see the mistakes and the pitfalls as a place to grow from.
Henry Cate | Jun 27, 2006 | Reply
“The other day my son told me to go upstairs and relax a little bit and he would finish feeding his sister and clean her up.”
Wow, I’m impressed. It sounds like you are doing a good job, raising a son who is sensitive enjoy to notice and caring enough to be willing to make the effort.
Keep up the good work.
Heather | Jun 28, 2006 | Reply
I’m not sure how to do trackbacks in html just yet (since Blogger doesn’t support them), but here’s a link to my post (which mentioned your post):
Summer Announcements at Sprittibee’s Blog
Hope you are feeling back to your cheery regular self. May the Force be With You.