Ok, so the competitionless stuff would piss me off too. We’ve been trying to strike a balance in our house - something between cut throat competitiveness and “PC we’re all in first place.” Sometimes I think it’s working. Sometimes I think it’s not. Then my son says something like, “It’d be nice to win. I’d like to win. If I don’t that’s ok. What really matters is that we had fun trying.” Then I just wipe the tear away, kick myself in the rear for worrying and hug him tight.

Gosh, all in one moment I’m looking at your photos seeing my potential future with sweet anticipation and dread all at once.

Kids team sports can aim towards one of two primary goals. The first could be called “participation” I guess, where the kids get some exercise, have fun playing with each other, get exposure to some sporting concepts, etc. This is a worthy goal, and something that any child who wants to can be part of.

The second worthy goal, “competition”, requires winners and losers, both between teams and within teams. Competition has a highly motivating effect on some, and an anxiety provoking effect on others; and in a world where they cannot yet measure up to the same scales and charts of the adult world, competition provides at least a clean proxy measure for self-evaluation.

Like I said, both have value, but they cannot both be served simultaneously. Kids are so good (_so_ good) at spotting phoniness, and they can tell the difference between playing a kid who’s working hard at improving and needs some more chances, and playing a kid who just doesn’t have the skill but who it’s felt should still participate. I get a disgusting feeling in my stomach thinking of what it was like to look across to my peers on the other side of the skilled/unskilled line; to sense that winning was important, and to know that the unskilled were hinderances to that effort.

I think kids sports should follow the participatory model first, but then go fully competitive when the kids are ready (probably a year after the kids _think_ they are ready). That gives a little more time for kids and parents to opt out of sports where they don’t show aptitude or promise.

I have no problem with competition, but I recall that what was most tough psychologically was the internal competition with my teammates. These were kids who i needed to work with in order to achieve victory, but whom i needed to best in order to secure my own opportunities to enjoy the sport. Personally, I wish my oldest were not so interested in team sports, as individual sports avoid that whole ambiguous area. But baseball and soccer seem to be what he likes, so I’ll have to let you know how we all deal with it when it becomes an issue in a couple of years!

No, they aren’t rude. They simply clap when THEIR team makes a goal.

They’ve been asked to stop.

By the way, they also clap when the other team makes a good play. Political correctness run amok.

I’m not selling anything — just expressing my opinion based on 11+ years involved in youth sports. When kids learn to do their personal best every time and accept both losing & winning with equal grace, it’s an enriching experience. At the younger ages, they’re just not equipped either physically or emotionally to handle losing & winning that way — especially losing.
Again, just MY opinion

The pee-wee team I coached for 3 years didn’t officially keep score either. We did though - my kids always knew the score and the game situation. You can’t teach the game of baseball without being aware of the score. What you should do with the ball on defense is often partially dependent on the score and game situation.

Now I’m coaching 11-12 year olds and we have the opposite problem. Too many coaches at this age only care about the score. They sacrifice fair play, sportsmanship, and actually teaching their kids the game, all in pursuit of the league championship.