Changing the Channel

Today started out miserable. Both of my kids woke up between 3 and 4 am and inexplicably could not get back to sleep. I was tired and frustrated (and there was very little sugar in the house). By 11:30 am I had yelled, punched pillows, broken a dish (accidentally), and cried. Having reached the end of my proverbial rope, I put the kids in the car and drove around in the pouring rain so they would sleep. When we got back home, we had lunch and a good hour of playtime until they started to get cranky again. I left the room to give myself a “time out,” and when I came back, this is the scene I found.

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Seeing my kids hugging and playing, I felt a stab of guilt for blowing everything out of proportion. Losing a little sleep is not the end of the world, but I have such a talent for turning everything into a crisis. It even seems that I thrive on bitching and complaining. What a good example to set for my children.

L once told me to use the TV remote to change his behavior. He said when he was whining or mad, I could just change the channel. While I thought this was pretty funny at the time, I’m realizing the wisdom in those words. Why can’t we just change the channel? When I am angry and tired, I could flip to the “my kids are so precious and this tiny moment of anguish will pass quickly” channel.

After dinner, I showered and went out to a gathering with friends. And, you know, I wasn’t all that tired. What was different this evening from this morning? The kids weren’t crying and complaining. I had nothing to cook/clean/manage except to get myself out for a relaxing evening. If I could strengthen my ability to change the channel… to look at the big picture… to act instead of react… then I could learn to have peace in the midst of chaos.