Three Things
Filed Under: Parenting
Inspired by a post at been there, I’d like to ask you all this question: What are the top three values or traits you’d like to impart to your children?
I took some time to consider this and came up with the following:
1. Self-confidence/esteem
2. Integrity
3. Discipline/Determination
I want my children to be honest, loving, ambitious people who do not give up on their dreams and who have the self-esteem to chase them.
How about you? What are your dreams for your children?
PHAT = Parenting, Homeschooling And Technology. That about sums up my life at the moment. 
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Richard | Jun 23, 2005 | Reply
How about the ability to solve problems as a good trait? Everyday we are faced with situations that require different levels of problem solving abilities. Some short term and some long term. I see people everyday making mistakes because they did not analyze the problem and gather sufficient info before solving a problem and making a decision. And then when they make the decision it is not the best possible solution and many times this can cost families enormous sums of money or time.
I think that many things are learned while the overall framework (or life energy)of who you are is what is given to you at conception. What you learn and how you use what you learn is shaped by your life energy.
You are a wonderful mom and your children will not fully realize that until they have children of their own.
lance | Jun 23, 2005 | Reply
Okay, if we’re going for an ordered list of three, I’ll go with:
1. Rational
2. Imaginative
3. Just
(But I can’t stop there, because there’s a fourth to complete the square: 4. Benevolent. See the pattern? 1 and 2 deal with the world in general, whereas 3 and 4 specifically deal with people. 1 and 3 involve responding to facts honestly as they are, and 2 and 4 involve looking for possibilities about how things can be.)
Wow, I’m a real sentimentalist, eh?
Seriously, I have lots of hopes and dreams of what sort of people my kids will develop into with time, but I think the 4 traits above are the necessary foundation for other desireable traits.
trixie | Jun 24, 2005 | Reply
Interesting question… in answer, I’ll gladly ditto Lance. Not surprising, I know, seeing as he and I are definitely on the same page when it comes to raising our kids… but it’s interesting to think of parenting goals as a list of three values. I’ve never quite thought of it like this before, and while I may not have come up with an identical list on my own, I really like Lance’s formulation.
Since we’ve been limited to a list of only 3, however, I’d probably be satisfied to list:
1. rationality
2. rationality
3. rationality
Certainly rationality is the foundation for many, many other values and virtues I hope to impart to my kids, so I think it really can stand alone. When one knows the value of evaluating the world rationally and lives his life accordingly, one will naturally come to value honesty, integrity, productivity, independence, and justice, and he will be primed to develop self-esteem (which can only grow from a rational self-evaluation), self-discipline, ambition, responsibility, and a love of life. The end result will be success and happiness.
Lance’s “imaginative” and “benevolent” are great supplements to rationality because they’ll help open the door to wonderful possibilities beyond the given.